Dear Ralph,

This is an attempt at explaining myself and my actions/opinions. It will likely not be satisfactory or very complete but it's something I feel needs to be done.

Back in the days when we were attempting to start our business I was already concerned about our ability to go forward. For the few years leading up to our ventures, our relationship had suffered, whether you realize it or not. I remembered the Ralph that I once knew as being a free spirit, a self-realized person and someone who thought for themselves. We would have great conversations while hiking, riding, camping and driving around all over the damned place. But that all changed when you met and married 'her'. Our conversations tended to turn into bitch sessions. some of which is OK but, truly, there has to be a balance. It got to be a drag.

What's most irritating and sad is that the reason that you were with her and couldn't see the truth is that you are too good. You have a highly developed sense of responsibility and care. That's what makes you awesome. But, it also makes you susceptible to making choices that hurt you. I know this because it's what I have done too. Being in therapy helped me to see this and slowly make changes in how I make choices and see those around me.

It's all about values. What we value in our lives. You and I value many of the same things- adventure, experience, knowledge, health, pushing ourselves and more. Sarah, and many people in this society, value being connected to a system that is generated outside of themselves. Through parents, friends, magazines, ads, societal achievement, and so on, many people try to attach themselves to a construct that they did not create or question. It's a safe way and gives those without a desire to think for themselves an easy path. It's the norm in so many places, but sad. so sad. It's arguably why we choose lame rulers and allow banks to bring down our economy because we don't question and we don't have enough outrage. We are generally sheep. Sheeple.

That's not what I think of when I think of the Ralph that I thought I knew. The Ralph who didn't follow the norms much of the time.

Now, was my decision the right decision at the time? No, likely not. And I regret it to a degree. We all do this. Now, do we all know how to forgive ourselves? Forgive others? No, we rarely do.

I have learned how to forgive. It opens up so many possibilities.

I move forward and I hope you do too.

Sincerely, Alec